I think this happens to all of us…
Someone walks in the room and you just can’t take your eyes off them.
They might not always measure up to most people’s beauty standards, but there’s just something about them. Something that you can’t put your finger on.
Why is this?
There’s a good chance that this person radiates charisma or has a magnetic personality.
This person has a personality that you are immediately attracted to.
I know we all probably wish that we could be that person everyone is immediately attracted to.
Well the good news is that, having a charismatic or magnetic personality is actually a skill that can be learned.
So if you’re wondering…
“What does it look like to have a charismatic personality?”
“How can I have a charismatic personality?”
Here’s the deal:
A person with a charismatic personality often has the following traits; they’re likeable, interesting, energetic and pleasant to be with.
Developing these traits can be very helpful in your career, business or relationships. It makes you stand out from the rest.
But, developing a charismatic personality takes time and practice. There’s no quick fix or shortcut. But, the results are worth the effort.
So, today I will let you in on 8 ways magical ways on how you can develop a more charismatic and essentially a more likable personality.
1. Be a Good Listener and Show Genuine Interest in the Other Person
Being a good listener doesn’t just mean sitting down and using your ears to listen to somebody’s words. It means we have to actively do the following things:
Make eye contact.
Looking here and there isn’t going to make you charismatic.
Making regular eye contact is very important to build rapport with someone. Do break the eye contact every 3-4 seconds however.
Looking somewhere else and then looking back will make it look natural and won’t make you look like you’re trying to read the other person’s mind.
Refrain from distractions.
Put your phone on silent so you don’t get distracted. You want to build trust with this person and show genuine interest.
When you catch yourself counting tiles on the ceiling, bring back your attention to the person you’re talking to. Be mindful and only focus on the person you are listening to.
Be sure to nod or say “hmm…”. The person will feel understood and listened to. It is important to make them feel like they are the only person in the room.
2. Be Encouraging & Supportive
We all love someone who is supportive, lifts us up when we feel down and just “gets the best out of us”.
Did you know that you can actually do little things in your daily life that make you more encouraging and supportive.
Here are some things you can do:
- Say something nice to someone (try to do it at least 5 times a day).
- Smile a lot (even if there’s no reason for it)
- Say “thank you” and “please”.
- Stop looking for problems. Instead, look for solutions.
- Share positive experiences instead of negatives ones.
- Ask someone how they are doing.
- Offer your help to someone.
3. Be an Honest and Reliable Person
“Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters” – Albert Einstein
If you want to develop a more charismatic personality then it is vital that you are an honest and reliable person.
A reliable person never lets anyone down. They never under deliver when they commit to something.
You have to be real about what you can offer. This way you people will trust you. Once you’re known as someone who can’t be trusted, it’s very hard to overcome this.
Another very important thing is to not make fun of other people and gossip.
4. Master Your Conversational Skills
Good conversation skills are an important key to success.
When you master this art, you can meet anybody and talk about anything with ease.
The good news is that there are ways to develop your conversational skills. When implemented well, you can develop a charismatic personality.
Here’s how to do that:
Be interesting and have something to say.
A lot of us like people who share interesting stories and who are fun to listen to.
But how do you get interesting stories?
By getting yourself out there, talking to people and getting out of your comfort zone.
Do the following things:
- Enroll yourself in online learning (Open2study or Edx for example)
- Try to learn something new every day.
- Go out more often.
- Attend more gatherings and parties.
- Share your views and listen to other people’s views.
Show your interest.
Invest yourself and show your interest in the conversation.
Keep good eye contact to show to person you’re interested.
Share your views to keep the conversation flowing. But always reminder to ask the other person questions. Don’t just talk about yourself. Encourage the other person to elaborate on their views and really take the time to listen and show your interest.
Practice, practice and practice.
Mastering this skill requires a lot of practice.
You can meet more people, attend more gatherings and visit public places to get better at it.
You might feel like you’re getting out of your comfort zone, but the more you do it, the better you’ll get at it.
5. Be Energetic and Enthusiastic
If you want to be a charismatic person then it’s important to have an energetic and enthusiastic vibe.
Most people love being around others who are positive, energetic and enthusiastic, because they appear to be so self-confident however not in an egotistical way.
If you are positive you will glow, smile and radiate your inner beauty.
“Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Don’t be someone who complaints a lot. Don’t be toxic. See the glass half-filled, not half-empty.
Be someone who lights up the room. Look for the positive things in life and spread cheerfulness with your presence.
6. Develop a Good Sense of Humor
Let’s admit it…
We all enjoy the company of someone who makes us laugh.
Humor is a much needed stress reliever at times. Having a sense of humor can make you more engaging and pleasant to be with.
When you can add fun and humor to a dull atmosphere, people will love you for it.
Here are some good tips to be more humorous:
- Don’t take yourself to seriously
- See the humorous side of life and actively look for a laugh every day
- Learn a variety of jokes.
- Watch comedians and other funny shows
- Surround yourself with others who have a good sense of humor.
7. Use Your Body Language
One very important thing you can do to be more charismatic is to change your body language.
Research has shown that the body language is responsible for communicating 55% of our message. The way we use our voice is responsible for 38% of the message. And guess what…. The actual words we say are only responsible for 7% of conveying a message.
Wow! This really shows how important our body language is.
Here are some great tips to use positive body language:
Things to avoid:
- Crossing your arms
- Having your hands in pockets
- Exaggerating your gestures
- Don’t stare
- Looking down
- Getting too close
Things to do:
- Your posture should be relaxed, but your back should be straight. This shows people you are comfortable and confident
- Make brief eye contact every now and then
- Use your facial expressions.
- Stand tall and take up space.
- Practice some “Power Posing” in front of a mirror.
8. Don’t “Just Be Yourself”
“Be yourself” – is the most counter-productive tip you will ever get.
Being yourself makes you complacent.
It makes you feel that there is no need to make any further improvements in your life. The truth is that if we want to grow in life we have to get out of our comfort zone.
Instead of just waiting for a fairy princess to sprinkle magic on your life, we need to go out there, take charge and be pro-active.
Create the life you want. Learn from your mistakes and use them to grow yourself.
Stop procrastinating and put in the required effort to get the life you want.
In simple words, constantly aim for becoming a better version of yourself.
Connecting the Dots
So, there you go, after following these tips you can develop a more charismatic personality.
But, only those of you who study, practice and dedicate yourselves to learning and improving will reap the rewards.
Over to you:
Are there any traits of a charismatic personality that you want to start applying today?
About the Author
Akshay is the co-founder of Easique, where he provides actionable guides and advice on confidence, mindset and style. Get his exclusive guide: “What should I talk about, anyway?” (to keep the conversation going) – free for W2D