15 Secrets To a Healthy, Loving & Stable Relationship
I remember years ago when I was young…
Just a few houses down our street lived on old married couple. I think they were both older than eighty.
Every time I’d see them, they seemed to be so in love.
They were still holding hands. They passionately kissed each other and they’d still seem to have so much fun together. You could just feel that, even after all those years, the love between them was still alive.
It made me realize that it is possible to grow old together and still be happy.
I told myself that I wanted my relationship to be like this. It gave me hope that despite all the divorces nowadays it’s still possible to be together forever.
But what was their secret?
Why did they make it and why do so many other long term relationships and marriages end up in a break up or divorce?
That’s why I decided to ask 15 experts about their biggest secret to a loving, healthy and stable relationship.
Below you’ll find 15 insightful and valuable pieces of advice that you can use to keep the love in your relationship alive.
Happy reading and don’t forget to share your thoughts with me in the comment section at the end of the article.
Support, love, attention and daily physical contact I believe is important. And one other thing is to keep myself in shape and never forget that she might have fallen in love with me for lots of different reasons but the physical attraction has to be there as well.
Steven Aitchison / Change Your Thoughts
Letting go of the ego means dousing anger often, choosing compassion and empathy. It means listening when you don’t want to and communicating when you don’t feel like it. This is no easy feat, by the way. Working on reducing the impact of the ego in our lives is a life-long spiritual and personal development practice. One reduces the size of the ego by acknowledging, calling it out and then gently negotiating with it every time it tries to consume your life. We reduce the ego by feeding it with love and compassion instead of fueling it with anger and pride.
Vishnu / Vishnusvirtues.com
By committed, I mean that you have absolute certainty that neither of you will ever do anything to jeopardize trust in each other. Trust is the absolutely biggest factor in sustaining a long-term relationship.
Trust means you can be fully heard, you are able to say anything to each other and you can wholeheartedly be yourself in the relationship, yet you’ll still know for sure that you are loved and fully supported. You then get to stay in touch with each other’s growth, for enabling support of each other, during change in each other and in circumstances.
Over the course of many years, many times over, you can rely on changes in each other, changes in your lifestyle and in the relationship. When you can completely trust your commitment to each others health, happiness and continued love, you can speak more freely and more easily negotiate beneficial adaptations, for best sustaining you both into the future.
As in the words of Kim Eng, “The fact of the matter is: there are no relationships. There is only the present moment, and in the moment there is only relating”. So keep your channels open for relating, and that means always continue to build on mutual trust.
Thea Westra / Forwardstepsblog.com
And enjoy one another. Greet one another with smiles and hugs regularly. My husband and I work at home and we greet one another with eye contact and smiles whenever one enters or leaves the room. We affirm our love for one another. Can you hear that someone loves you too often? Nope! Love truly is the answer, cliche as it sounds!
Lori Gosselin / Lifeforinstance.com
Ryan Biddulph / Bloggingfromparadise.com
Happiness, whether in general or in a relationship, is relative to what you expect from the world or a person. Expecting less isn’t settling for less, it happens after you’ve committed to someone. And this is the key: expecting less means your love is unconditional. Otherwise, high expectations set a performance bar for your partner, and every time they fail (and people will fail), the relationship is threatened.
Stephen Guise / Deepexistence.com
Acceptance also applies to you. It’s impossible to be happy and accept someone else until you can fully accept yourself, just as you are today. That doesn’t mean that you don’t want to change or improve yourself, but you have to accept yourself as you as today in order for growth to happen. Otherwise you’ll waste your energy resisting the way you are. What you resist persists.
With acceptance, you can feel comfortable being who you genuinely are, not a façade that you think the other person wants or that you think you need to be. When you feel accepted, you naturally want to move closer to the other person and become a better person for the relationship.
Paige Burkes / Simplemindfulness.com
Dani DiPirro / Positivelypresent.com
The reason that respectful communication is so important is because all relationships are ultimately an ongoing balance, an ongoing dance between the needs and desires of the “we”, the “me”, and the “you”. Put too much emphasis on the needs and desires of one of the partners, and the other partner will grow angry and resentful. Put too much emphasis on the overall needs of the relationship and the two individuals risk losing their uniqueness and being consumed within the relationship. Finding and continually negotiating the delicate balance between “we”, “me”, and “you” requires respectful communication, hard work, and the 100% commitment of both partners.
Ed Herzog / Edherzog.com
Sibyl Chavis / Possibilityoftoday.com
With open and honest communication, you will get to clear up things as you go and never allow things to simmer. Finally, make sure you discuss and agree on the key things that matter to you both.
Arvind Devalia / Arvinddevalia.com
Henri Junttila / Wakeupcloud.com
For instance, my wife likes to go to the gym, which is an important for her health and well-being. So often this means I have to watch our son for a few hours during the daytime, instead of working. On the other hand, she makes an incredible amount of sacrifices by being the primary caregiver so I can get a number of tasks completed. Honestly, it’s a balancing act where we try to help one another out.
Steve Scott / Developgoodhabits.com
Zeenat Merchant-Syal / Positiveprovocations.com
Making Your Relationship Last
Wow! That was some good advice.
I’m sure that these 15 secrets will contribute to having a loving, healthy and stable relationship with your partner.
Maybe there were some real eye-openers for you and maybe you got some advice that you want to put into practice right away.
Lastly I want to share one of my secrets. I believe that one of the keys to having a loving, deep and intimate connection with your partner is to realize that love is an action. Every day you need to consciously and actively make the choice to show love to your partner. If you do this then you’ll see your relationship transform. You’ll feel more love for your partner and he or she will feel very loved by you. This amazing quote by Stephen Covey sums it all up:
Love is a verb. Love – the feeling- is the fruit of love the verb.
What was your favorite secret? Feel free to share this with me in the comment section. Also you’re more than welcome to share any of your own tips or secrets for having a loving, healthy & stable relationship.