The reason why you are not happy and how to change it “Happiness is a cute little baby refusing to let go of your finger” – Unknown

Often when we think of happiness, we think of an upward staircase where life slowly gets better and better.

We think about achievements, reaching certain goals…

And well, moving forward towards a better place in our life.

We view happiness as a goal…or a destination.

And we hope that in time, we can make happiness our default position.

But the truth is, this concept of happiness is driving many people into feeling hopeless, disappointed and even depressed.

Here’s why…


Most of us are striving for a hollow goal

The majority of us tie happiness to the futile idea of perfection.

We want our life to reach an ideal state. And that only then can we truly be happy.

But we can never really reach that ideal state.

Because there will always be situations in our life that will cause us disappointment, frustration, anger, insecurity, worry and hurt.

That is just the reality of life. We are beautifully imperfect human beings and we live in an imperfect world.

This perfect state just does not exist.

So how do we find happiness then?


The real meaning of happiness

Happiness is a constant journey – not a goal to be reached.


Happiness is about noticing and appreciating all those tiny and special moments that happen all around us, every single day.


Maybe for you, happiness is going for a nice walk with the person you love, and feeling an incredible sense of love and gratefulness.

Maybe it’s that moment that you smile as you watch your children playing on the playground, and you feel like a proud parent.

Maybe it’s watching the sun set and feeling overwhelmed and fascinated by its beauty.

Maybe it’s sitting on the couch with your best friend, feeling excited as you’re about to watch a movie. And you think “I’m so happy to have such an amazing friend”.


“Happiness is a cute little baby refusing to let go of your finger” – Unknown


Happiness is about noticing all the TINY, INCREDIBLY SIMPLE yet beautiful moments in your life.

Maybe the moment of happiness lasts only for a minute, or even seconds.

Maybe it’s as simple as a tiny thought that crosses your mind.

But even so, if you can appreciate all those tiny moments in each day, think about how they will add up.

All these small moments in life are the essence of happiness.


Happiness is right under our fingertips

Happiness is right in front of us, waiting to be embraced.

Yet we’re often too pre-occupied to even notice it.

We are too busy waiting for a big golden nugget to drop from the sky, and into our lap.

We imagine a life where we have little stress and financial difficulties, very few relationship problems and where we have control over our circumstances.

And we get caught up on the “if only’s”…

“If I only had this, I’d be happy. If I only had that, I’d be happy”.

And rather than embracing the beautiful moments around us every day, we over look them. And we miss out.

We miss out on true happiness because we are so fixated on perfection – an illusion and a concept of happiness that does not exist.

Think about it. Even the richest or most famous people in the world, who seemingly have it all, end up depressed and unhappy.

Don’t overlook the greatest joys in life. Don’t buy into the illusion on happiness.

Rather, be mindful every day. Recognize and appreciate all those small moments that put a smile on your face. Appreciate every second that you feel peaceful, secure, belong, loved and grateful.

When challenges arise, be okay with it – accept it as a normal and even valuable part of this journey called life – because they make us stronger, wiser, more capable and more ‘whole’ as a person.

If you can learn to do this…

If you can shift your view of happiness and be content with what you already have…

You will be amazed at how simple finding happiness really is.

What are your thoughts on happiness? Share your thoughts with me in the comment section!

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