This will be a hard topic for me to talk about. If you talk about self-development, happiness and success you will eventually also talk about faith.
We usually offer practical advice on how to become happier and successful in life. But todays article will be really personal.
Maybe it will be inspirational for you, maybe not. It might be useful to you, it might not be.
Sometimes writing is a very good way to express yourself. It doesn’t always have to be extremely useful or engaging. Occasionally it is just nice to speak your mind and share your vulnerability with people.
Chantalle and I write about self-development, but we are not perfect. We face our challenges and we try to learn everyday. For us it is as much a journey as it is for you.
One of my biggest struggles is Faith. I used to live my life without thinking too much about it.
Since a few years ago however it has been occupying my mind. I ask myself questions like:
Is there a greater power on earth?
Is there life after death?
Why are we here on earth?
These are very significant questions. People have been looking for the answers to these questions for a long time. Now days we are so advanced with our technology, but we still can’t answer these questions.
For me personally, there is a constant battle between “there is something” and “there is nothing”.
Sometimes it is hard for me to accept that there is more to life and that there is a greater power that created us. I think it goes beyond what we, as human beings can comprehend.
Other times I am so amazed by the world around us that it is hard to believe that everything was created by a “big bang”.
Is everything on earth just a coincidence or is there something greater out there?
Last week I went to a museum in South Africa. There was also a planetarium inside the museum. I had never really read much about our universe, but what I saw there was absolutely mind-blowing. I learnt how incredibly big our galaxy is and how the world is barely even a tiny dot within it.
But what amazed me the most is that there are so many galaxies beyond our galaxy, more than you could ever count.
There are thousands of other galaxy’s out there and so many other planets. At one point my brain just stopped working. It’s too complex and out of this world to comprehend.
What I’m trying to say is that there is so much out there we don’t understand.
This makes me think there is something out there. Something that is far greater than we can’t grasp.
But then, on the other hand, I read something about miracles happening on earth.
People claim that they pray for healing and that people then get healed. This is hard for me to believe.
There are also thousands of people out there who pray for healing, but end up dying. But why would a loving God let one-person die and another live? Isn’t that unjust?
Or is there more to it than I realize?
As you notice, I mention God. This is my struggle. My struggle is with God. I used to be a convinced Atheist. I went to Sunday school when I was younger, but all I did was try to convince others of the fact that He didn’t exist.
To make my point clearer:
I used to think that religion was for stupid people.
People who can’t stand on their own legs. People who are weak.
I thought I had all the answers to life and it’s purpose. But then I met a few great people who are Christians. They were not stupid or weak. They were strong, intellectual and independent people with good values and principles.
This raised some serious questions.
Why were these people not weak or stupid?
Why did these people have such a positive impact on me?
What is my own problem with religion? Did I ever give it a fair chance?
This made me realize that I had to shift my paradigm.
I am full of doubts. Sometimes even jealous of people who can rely on their religion. It gives them a clear purpose in life. They have an answer for their big questions in life.
What do I have?
Of course, I hope there is something after you die. It would make dying merely a goodbye to your earthly life and your gateway to an afterlife.
Its hard to believe that everything we build up during our lives such as our knowledge, personality, spirit and relationships are all lost when we die. To be honest.. I don’t want it to be gone. Wouldn’t this make our lives purposeless?
Atheism vs. Christianity
I read a lot about Atheism and Christianity.
Most articles and websites I read about atheism try to prove that there is no such thing as a God.
It doesn’t provide answers to life’s big questions. Its sole purpose seems to be a constant quest to find proof of the absence of a God.
Isn’t that irrational?
Why devote your time to convincing other people there is nothing greater than this. That the world and all it’s beauty is purely a big coincidence.
Even if there is no God it still provides people with hope and good values and principles.
It gives people something to hold on to and find answers for these big questions.
Why would you want to take that away from somebody?
So Atheism is not my answer. But I also struggle with Christianity. I am somewhere in between.
I somehow put a wall up whenever people talk about a God.
But the thing is, I don’t like to be in between. It doesn’t feel nice to have no answers. Although I know atheism is not the answer for me, I still feel a lot of resistance when I go the other way.
How to know if there really is a God out there?
I think it all comes down to making a decision. You can spend your whole life researching atheism and Christianity, but you will never find answers that satisfy you. You have to make a decision and follow this decision with your heart.
I haven’t made my decision yet. I am still searching for my answers. Answers I will never find, but somehow I want to keep on searching.
Maybe somewhere in the future something will help me to make my decision. Maybe not.
Im sure that many of you can identify yourself with my article. Perhaps you struggle with faith yourself.
Do you believe in something or not? What do you believe?
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