I think we all know this feeling…
Your new found love becomes the centre of your world and you forget everything around you.
Overtime you notice that you almost become “one” with your partner. And you start to lose sight of your dreams, goals and individuality.
We might stop hanging out with friends, neglect our hobbies or simply stop doing the things we love to do.
And the worst part is that… we often do this without realizing.
But then months or even years later we find out that we are less confident and independent than we used to be. And we even start to feel like we’ve kinda lost ourselves in our relationship.
To help you find out if you’re losing yourself in your relationship then here are 7 critical warning signs you should look out for.
1. Your partner’s opinion seems to be more important than yours
Are you afraid of how your partner might respond when you express yourself? Do you feel like your opinion matters less than your partners? Do you wait for your partner to give their opinion before giving yours? If your answer is “yes” then it’s important to realize that your opinion is just as important as your partners and if you don’t express yourself freely, you may start to feel like you’re losing a part of yourself in your relationship.
2. Your self-confidence has shrunk since you met your partner
Being in a relationship is supposed to boost our confidence because we have someone by our side who supports us and loves us. However, sometimes relationships can make us lose our self-confidence…when we start neglecting our hobbies, friends and stop pursuing our dreams we become more dependent on our partner, we lose our individuality and we feel like we can’t do anything by ourself. This is a huge confidence breaker and it’s a sure sign that you’re losing that strong sense of self you should have in your relationship.
3. You’ve put almost everything aside for your partner
Is your partner so important to you that you’ve put aside your own dreams, desires and needs? Do you do or say anything to make your partner happy, even if you think it’s unreasonable? Putting your partner first and neglecting your own needs and desires is a dangerous thing to do. Although it seems like a loving act, in reality it’s unhealthy for your relationship. You need to take care of yourself so that you can be a confident and happy person for your partner. If you don’t do this…you’ll eventually start to lose yourself in your relationship.
4. You’re afraid to organize a meeting with your friends or family if you don’t get approval from your partner first
What if a friend asks you to hang out with them? Would getting your partners approval be the first thing that pops into your head? The truth is that we shouldn’t need approval from our partner if we want to see a friend or family member. If you feel like you do need approval then this is a sign that you’re losing your independency in your relationship. We need to feel like independent, capable people and able to make our own decisions if we are to maintain a strong sense of self in our relationship.
5. You feel uncomfortable being yourself
Do you hide your true self from your partner? Do you feel uncomfortable when you show a bit of your own personality, share your dreams or do something quirky that’s typically you? If we are in a long-term relationship it makes sense that we should feel comfortable being ourselves… right? If you feel like you’re hiding your true self from your partner then this is a warning sign that you’re on track to losing yourself in your relationship.
6. Even though you’ve lost yourself you’re still terrified that your partner will leave you
Sometimes we know that we are lost, but we don’t do anything about. And why? Because we’re afraid of being alone. We’re afraid that when we start expressing our feelings and thoughts or start pursuing our dreams, our partner will feel threatened by this and possibly leave us. It’s important to realize that if your partner really loves you and is committed then he or she will support you in the things that make you truly happy. Holding back on expressing yourself will only make you feel lost in your relationship.
7. You’ve got a hard time setting clear boundaries in your relationship
What is acceptable for you in your relationship? Have you set clear boundaries for yourself of how much you’ll give into or compromise with your partner? You know your values and what you think is reasonable or not in a relationship – stick to these values. Create clear boundaries to show your partner that you are not willing to compromise being your true self in your relationship. This is crucial in order to maintain or get back a strong sense of self, independence and confidence in your relationship.
Start reclaiming yourself right now!
It’s up to you now to make the necessary changes in your life and your relationship. Just remember that it’s never to late to claim your identity back. You have the power to choose how you feel in a relationship. You can create your own outcome.