It’s in our nature to want others to feel drawn to us or think after meeting us “wow, what a great person”. There is no denying that we all want friends who genuinely like us and who want to be around us.
Did you ever go to a party where you didn’t know many people? Did you find yourself examining the room to look for potential people to talk to but felt nervous that you had to introduce yourself to new people? Perhaps you were worried that people would find you boring or annoying.
What if I told you that there are 5 great ways to make sure people like you. Sounds great doesn’t it? If you follow the simple tips in this article you will go more confidently to your next party, business meeting, holiday or wherever.
These simple tips will work in every situation and will make you more likable instantly.
1. Show a genuine interest in others
Dale Carnegie, author of “How to Win Friends and Influence People” explains that in actual fact, people are only interested in themselves.
You might be thinking, “that’s definitely not me! I care about a lot of other people more than myself”. This might be true however, caring about others and wanting to be around them are two very different things.
Most of the people that you want to be around are people that show an interest in you. Perhaps they listen to you, ask you questions about yourself or show an interest in the things you like. In the end, the people that we are interested in are the people who show interest in us.
Have you ever come across a person who only talked about him or her self?
Chances are, the whole time you were thinking of a way to leave the conversation and find someone more ‘interesting’ to talk to. And by ‘interesting’ I mean someone who shows an interest in you.
If you want to be more likable, show a genuine interest in other people and they will like you instantly. And by genuine I mean really try to listen to and be sincerely interested in other people.
2. Be confident in yourself and don’t hide your imperfections
Have you ever seen what you might call ‘an unfortunate looking person’ and thought “wow! They are unusually confident considering the way they look”. Have you ever noticed yourself feeling drawn to them? Like they have a special secret to valuing themselves?
The truth is, we are all searching for a way to feel more confident. When we see other people who refuse to let their insecurities control their life, it is very inspiring and attractive. They show a strength that you wish you had in yourself and that encourages you to accept yourself more too.
If you want to be more likable, don’t try to do this by hiding your imperfections but rather show confidence in who you are – just as you are. Click here to tweet this
People will feel drawn to you and you can be yourself at the same time. What a perfect combination!
3. Lose the power pose
Have you every gone to shake hands with someone and used your firm grip, tall stance and deepest sounding voice to show that you are confident in yourself?
As important as it is to show confidence in yourself, too much confidence can come across as if you are only interested in establishing your importance.
Nelson Mandela would bow his head slightly when meeting people as if to say “I am honored to meet you”.
Having a humble approach like this when meeting people will make them feel appreciated and valued (rather than feeling like you are trying to show them how valuable and important you are).
If you want to be more likable, show people that you are honored to meet and know them. Maybe you want to lower your head slightly like Nelson Mandela, or take a step towards them (to show that you are eager to meet them) or smile at them.
Like I mentioned above, we all like people who are interested in us. If you show someone that you are genuinely happy to meet him or her, they will instantly like you back.
4. Let them be better than you
Too often when we meet people, we think that if we can impress them they will like us. So we tell them about all the great things we have done and achieved. But if both people in a conversation are doing this, you end up with a secret competition of who is better.
What we should do instead when we talk to people is ‘to be impressed with them’. Let them win! And don’t be afraid to look weak, because really, you are making yourself a more likable person. Not in a ‘suck up’ kind of way but because you are showing people that you are willing to be vulnerable and real with them.
Here is an example of how you could respond without trying to complete with someone.If someone say’s “we just bought a new house, its so amazing. We are so happy to have such an amazing house”, you could say, “That’s really great, we would love to be able to buy a new house too. How did you pull it off?”
Notice how you are lifting them up and in sense ‘letting them win’ as oppose to trying to compete with them by bringing up a big achievement of yours. Don’t be scared to show some vulnerability. People are drawn to others who are genuine and sincere.
So be real and people will like you.
5. Challenge yourself to be more humble
We all make mistakes. We have all had times that we look back and think, “I wish I had responded differently”.
Maybe at the time, you were a bit grumpy because you didn’t get enough sleep or perhaps your were just unusually irritable that day. The point is, no one is perfect and no one wants a perfect friend.
What people simply want in a friend is for them to be humble and genuine. And someone who does not struggle to admit their faults but rather who is quick to acknowledge where they went wrong.
When you are real with others, people will feel as though they can be real back. This is one of the most attractive traits in a person. Whereas pride is one of the most unattractive traits that will make people want to run away from you and avoid intimacy. Pride will make you a difficult person and humility will make you a very likable and attractive person.
Be more likable instantly
Being likable is easier than you think. To make people feel drawn to you and enjoy your company, all it takes is a few simple changes in the way you respond.
Not only will these things make people like you instantly, you will also make others feel comfortable and valued around you. So try it out. Use the above tips in your life and become an incredibly likable person!