12 Powerful Ways to Claim Your Identity Back When You Are Lost in Your Relationship

by | Apr 15, 2014 | Love & Relationships | 62 comments

Do you feel like you have lost your individuality since being in a relationship?

Do you miss feeling independent and confident in yourself as a person?

Are you in an unhealthy relationship?

Being independent and keeping your unique identity is SO important in a healthy relationship.

But for most couples, it is much too easy to ‘lose yourself’ and become almost ‘one’ with your partner. The relationship becomes unhealthy.

Maybe you feel like you don’t have your own friends anymore and that you only ever socialize as a couple.

Or perhaps you feel like you have lost your individual and unique personality that you once had and that you have lost confidence in your own abilities.

Either way, maintaining your independence to a certain extent is very important to feel confident as a person and is a essential part of having a healthy relationship.

Remember, it was your personality and individuality that your partner fell in love with in the first place! So why lose it in your relationship?

If you feel like you lost yourself in your relationship then here are 8 great ways to claim your identity back (you can get the other 4 and a PDF of this article by clicking here).

1. Have your own friends

The way that you interact with your friends is often different to how you interact with your partner.

When you are with your friends, you will often feel a greater sense of independence. You no longer have your partner there to hold your hand and comfort you. You are your own person now and you are completely responsible for yourself.

Having your own friends will also give you a sense of personal confidence too. If you only have shared friends, then it is no wonder why you feel so reliant on your partner.

Also, when you keep in touch with friends that you have known from before you began your relationship, you will be reminded of who you are as an individual. This is a great way to maintain a sense of self.


2. Make new friends

Making new friends will show you that you are still capable of being ‘the person you used to be’. It will give you confidence as an individual and will also challenge you to step outside of your comfort zone and be more independent.


3. Identify your hobbies and interests and then do them!

Have you neglected your hobbies and interests as soon as you entered your relationship? These things are cornerstones to who you are as a person.

Your interests, hobbies and passions are what motivates you and drives you as a person. They create a big part of your personality too. For example, you might be a very artistic person and love expressing yourself creatively but when you neglect this part , you lose a part of yourself.

Get stuck into your hobbies and the things you are passionate about again.


4. Join a team or group where you can do the things you enjoy

Sometimes we have every intention of getting back involved with the things we enjoy such as our hobbies and passions. However it doesn’t last because of our busy lives!

Joining a team or group such as an art class, a sports group or band is the perfect way to stay accountable to the things you love. This will help you to make sure that you make time for your hobbies and interests.


5. Have time alone

Sometimes you might be so used to being around your partner that as soon as he or she isn’t around, you immediately call or go see a friend.

Spending time with friends is important but it should not be a way to avoid time alone.

Spending time alone is a must if you want to regain your sense of self. Sometimes all you need is a small break from everyone to find peace with yourself again.

When you are alone, you can reflect and be completely honest with yourself. It also encourages you do the things you enjoy. You can click here to grab a free list of 15 exciting things you can do by yourself right now to claim back your sense of self. Or you can fill in your email in the form down below to get instant access.


6. Arrange specific times in the week where you and your partner will have quality time  

You are probably thinking, “that’s a bit contradictory. How can arranging to spend time with my partner help me to regain my independence and a sense of self?”.

Well, it is important because many couples will neglect their social life in hope that it will give them more time for their relationship. This is often the case when a couple does not feel that they have enough quality time together. Remember quality time is very different from simply living together or being around each other a lot. It involves having each other’s undivided attention.

Arranging specific times in the week to have quality time with your partner will help you to feel more comfortable making plans with friends or getting involved with your hobbies. This way, you are confident that you will have enough time with your partner and are therefore less reluctant to make other commitments during the week.


7. Don’t lose sight of your dreams

It is our dreams and passions that give us a sense of purpose in our lives. If you lose sight of them, you will not only lose that sense of personal purpose and motivation in life but you will also lose a big part of yourself.

So keep chasing your dreams when you are in a relationship. If your partner loves he or she will fully support you in this.


8. Don’t be too dependent

It’s easy to become overly dependent on your partner especially if they are your best friend. He or she is the person you feel most comfortable with and who’s company you enjoy the most.

Being around other people may be a big effort, as you have to make a bigger effort to socialize – whereas being with your partner may be relaxing and easy.

This shouldn’t mean that you only ever spend time with your partner and no body else. If you do this, you will lose your independence and you will become heavily dependent on your partners company. This is a sign of an unhealthy relationship and can be burdening on your partner….and worse – you will lose your sense of self!

Do You Want to Receive 4 More Strategies?

We have 4 more great strategies for you. All you need to do is fill in your email and you’ll get instant access. You can get the other 4 strategies and a PDF of this article by clicking here. It’s completely free :). Alternatively you can fill in the form down below.

Much love,

Bastiaan & Chantalle, Owners & Founders of Want2discover.

Are You Sick of Feeling Dependent, Less Confident and Lost in your Relationship?

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